Chapter 664
Bang!
Beric flung open the cabin door.
Outside, there was nothing. The windows showed nothing either. Despite the vivid sound of rain dripping steadily, when he opened the window, all he saw was emptiness.
Beric slammed his head against the wall and cursed loudly. Damn that wizard—why the hell show me something like this? Hearing a noise behind him, he turned around to see his younger self glaring at him.
“Shit—”
Short, spiky red hair and stubborn, narrow eyes. Was this really how he looked as a child? Beric tried to recall, but it was hazy. After all, how many people remember their childhood selves clearly and completely?
“…Get lost.”
“What?”
“Get out of my house!”
The young Beric pulled out a dull sickle and charged.
At that moment, a clear image flashed in his mind.
Right. He recognized it. The weapon he had once grabbed from the storage and swung around as a kid. A sickle so blunt it couldn’t even cut a blade of grass anymore.
Swish! Swish!
The child clumsily swung the sickle at Beric. Dodging was nothing. The kid was too young, too small, and too agitated.
Beric twisted his body, avoiding every strike. The child’s face twisted in rage as he screamed.
“Aaaargh! Aaah!”
Beric bit his lower lip. He understood better than anyone what those screams meant.
The fear that if he didn’t kill the intruder, he himself would die. The despair that if he didn’t stop the intruder, his mother and sisters would be killed.
Ignoring the ache in his chest, Beric grabbed the child’s wrist.
“Why are you here? Get out! Get out of my house!”
“Calm down. It’s me. I’m you.”
“Don’t talk bullshit! Give it back! Give it back and get out right now!”
Smack! Thud!
The young Beric flailed his arms and legs wildly. Amid the child’s desperate struggle, Beric suddenly realized how to get out of here.
The wizard was trying to figure out his purpose through this damn hallucination. Why he came here alone without Ian, what he did after arriving, and what was in his pocket.
Snap!
Beric clenched his mouth and roughly shook off his younger self. The child felt light—too light—and that made his heart heavy.
He muttered as he looked at the kid crumpled in the corner. Blood dripped from the child’s nose onto the wooden floor.
“Cut it out, you damn wizard. If you don’t stop, I swear I’ll tear you apart myself.”
“Graaah!”
The young Beric didn’t give up. Just like back then, he fell but got back up, lunging again with stubborn persistence.
Beric frowned, grabbing the child by the collar with one hand. Did he really have no choice but to kill this kid with his own hands?
“Ugh…”
The child dangled by his toes, groaning.
‘If I cut you down, I’ll drown in defeat again. Just like that stormy night.’
But there was no other way. He had already been through that, and it left a deep scar that shaped who he was. So he hoped the child wouldn’t hurt too much.
Just as Beric drew his sword with the other hand—
“No!”
“…!”
Tears streaming, the girls hiding under the bed suddenly rushed out. His heart sank.
“Please don’t! Save him!”
“Don’t kill Beric! We’ll go instead! Please, don’t do this, sob—!”
“Please, please save him…”
The blurry faces of his sisters from his memories came into sharp focus. His precious little sisters. As Beric hesitated, the child seized the chance and slashed his face with the sickle.
Swish!
Though dull, it was enough to cut flesh. A long gash appeared under Beric’s jaw, blood trickling down—hot and wet. This was no illusion.
“Hah, hah—”
“Beric, are you okay?”
“Brother, don’t die! Waaah!”
Beric staggered backward, clutching his jaw. It was suffocating. Part of him knew these were just illusions, nothing real, but—
“Damn it.”
Even if it was just an illusion, how could he kill his own sisters? Failing to protect his siblings as a child had been a lifelong burden. And now, he was supposed to cut them down? Their screams and cries still echoed vividly in his ears.
“Beric!”
“No, don’t go!”
“Dieee!”
The young Beric caught his breath and charged again.
“Why are you here!”
Beric grabbed the child’s hair, and his sisters, startled, joined in the attack. They were just as light, fragile, and warm.
The girls clung to Beric’s waist, shaking him and crying out for him to stop, while the young Beric didn’t miss a beat and swung the sickle again.
Smack!
But that was as far as it went.
Beric gritted his teeth and punched the child’s stomach. With a groan, the young Beric collapsed, and suddenly Beric’s heart pounded wildly. Strange.
Thump, thump-thump, thump…
He placed a hand over his chest and hesitated. It felt familiar, but what was it? This unpleasant, filthy sensation…
‘Despair.’
The same feeling he’d had when struck by the assailants as a child. As the young Beric fell from his blow, their emotions merged and overwhelmed him all at once.
Beric clung to the wall and vomited.
“Gahk—!”
His stomach churned violently. His organs reacted abnormally to the anxiety and fear coursing through him.
As Beric stepped back, his sisters picked up the sickle from the floor.
“Please, don’t do this.”
Beric frowned and pleaded. But the girls cried harder, shouting.
“Don’t do this! Please! Let us go! Save us!”
“Please, there’s nothing here.”
“I know! I know this place is a torn-up ruin with nothing left!”
“Then why did you come here!”
“The kids—!”
Beric almost sighed and answered without thinking. That he came to help the Bariel wizards, to retrieve something.
But he caught himself just in time and clamped his mouth shut. It was too dangerous.
‘If I slip up, they might really burn me.’
Pulling himself together, Beric clenched his teeth and glared at his sisters. Two little girls. Fragile enough to kill with one hand.
It’s okay. They’re just illusions.
“Ahhh!”
Beric’s rough grip closed around one sister’s neck. She struggled to escape but couldn’t. Horrifyingly, he could feel her tiny pulse beating vividly beneath his palm.
“Ugh, ugh.”
Her eyes begged for mercy, but the only sound she made was a strangled groan.
Beric felt the warmth of her skin, the tear-soaked sleeve, the unkempt nails, each glossy strand of hair, and her bloodshot, swollen eyes…
He squeezed his eyes shut. Better not to see. It would hurt less that way. He didn’t even realize tears were streaming down his own face. They fought desperately to survive, but he fought desperately to kill.
“Please, please…”
Disappear.
Beric begged as he tightened his grip on his sister’s neck. Beyond guilt, a wave of self-loathing surged through him. When a tear dropped from her eye, he hesitated and loosened his hand.
“Hah, ha, ugh—!”
The girl gasped and cried out, and Beric sank to the floor. Apart from pounding the ground repeatedly, he had no way to release this pain.
“You damn bastard!”
Beric cursed the wizard who must be watching somewhere. He’d never felt such murderous intent in his life. He swore he would make the wizard suffer a slow, painful death.
Then his little sister cautiously approached.
“Um—”
Her hands trembled as she pleaded.
“Could you please let us go like this?”
“…Fine, just go. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“But we don’t know where to go.”
“…Somewhere safe and warm.”
“Where is that?”
Beric muttered with tired eyes closed. The only safe place he could think of was where his comrades were.
The little sister gently grasped the back of his hand.
“Where are we going?”
A buzzing voice echoed faintly in his ears—
Beric whispered without realizing it.
“Hielo.”
“Hielo? But we’re already in Hielo.”
The girl whispered back. How was this place the safe, warm place he spoke of?
Beric, slumped and exhausted, slowly lifted his head. His fierce eyes and furrowed brows hardened. With a large hand, he grabbed the girl’s face roughly.
“Cut the crap.”
He was asking where Ian and the wizards had gone, damn it. Fuck!
Beric’s grim expression made the girl cry again. Unless one of them died, this night in the cabin would never end.
Ian opened his eyes. He was on the sofa. He must have fallen asleep without realizing it. Five blankets covered him. Was that why he was sweating?
As Ian slowly stirred and began to move, the mages nearby sensed his presence and one by one approached. They were all taking a break—some tending to first aid, others eating.
“Ian, you’re sweating…”
“Who piled the blankets up like this? I told them to use only three, but no one listens.”
“Was the bed uncomfortable? I’m sorry. You were sleeping so soundly, we didn’t want to move you. You collapsed like you fainted earlier.”
“No, it’s fine. How long have I been out?”
“Not long. Just an hour or two, at most.”
“Would you like something to eat? The butler seems very meticulous. There’s still plenty of food left to fill your stomach. This is goulash, right?”
Ian took a moment to catch his breath and looked around. Maybe it was the exhaustion, but despite having rested, he didn’t feel refreshed. Instead, it was as if he’d woken from a nightmare he couldn’t remember—his heart pounding and a gnawing unease settling in.
“…What about Berrick?”
Everyone was there except for one—Berrick was nowhere to be seen. The mages gently removed Ian’s blankets and explained.
“He went to the Mage’s Forest. Said he was going to retrieve something he saw earlier.”
“Oh, that.”
“We thought about going with him, but everyone’s still too weak. Berrick insisted on going alone. We’re worried since he’s terrible with directions, but he seemed confident, talking about the scent of dragon’s blood or something like that. If he’s not back by dawn, one of us will go look for him.”
The mage pointed to a figure curled up in the corner, snoring softly—a mage from Luswena. Given his origins, he probably knew the forest paths better than anyone.
Ian stood and straightened his clothes.
“Did that mage say anything about what Berrick was after?”
“Yes. Since it’s been over ten years since he left, he didn’t recognize it. We think it’s connected to the second generation of mages—those newly trained in Luswena.”
“But Ian, why are you sweating so much…?”
“I don’t know.”
Ian let out a quiet sigh and glanced out the window. Darkness had fully settled. It meant they were the only living beings left in Hielo.
“…I feel strangely uneasy.”
“Are you worried about Berrick?”
Ian nodded slightly. He drew the curtains closed and turned back to the mages.
“You all stay here. I’m going out for a moment.”
“Absolutely not! You haven’t recovered yet!”
“Yes, and if you’re going, you should come with us—”
But Ian couldn’t shake the feeling that he had to find out what this unease meant. He calmed the mages who insisted on following him.
“I swear I’ll meet Berrick and return quickly. When I come back, I’ll lie down right here and rest with you all. So until then, recover your magic. That’s how you’ll help me.”