Things had changed. And yet, they hadn’t.
Splash!
“Mmm.”
As I sank into the hot water, a contented sigh escaped my lips. The heat enveloped me, seeping into every corner of my body, melting away the fatigue that had accumulated over time. It felt like heaven.
Just as I was about to close my eyes and savor the moment, a voice interrupted.
“Ouch, that’s hot.”
I turned to see a woman wrapped in a white cloth from her chest to her thighs. It was Im Hanna.
She stood there, her mouth slightly open, one foot raised as if testing the water. Droplets trickled from her delicate toes, suggesting she was surprised by the temperature.
The sight was unexpectedly amusing, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, her expression a mix of confusion and embarrassment.
“Sorry if I offended you,” I quickly apologized, though her face only grew more awkward, as if she didn’t know how to react.
Hanna cautiously dipped her foot into the water, pouting slightly. “I finally mustered the courage to speak informally to you…”
“But it’s not the first time, is it? You did it once before,” I reminded her.
“Did I?” she asked, puzzled.
“Yeah, you told me not to just sit around and wait. You seemed pretty comfortable with it then.”
Splash!
Hanna submerged herself completely, tilting her head as if trying to recall. Her expression shifted as she remembered.
“That’s mean.”
Bubbles rose to the surface as she submerged her face, clearly unable to handle the teasing.
Deciding to ease up, I turned my gaze forward and spoke softly. “You said you had something to tell me.”
There was no immediate response, just the gentle ripple of water as she moved closer.
“Just…” Her voice was calm, and I felt her gentle touch on my back, as if she was concerned about the scars.
“Are you worried about the scars?” I wondered, sensing her persistence.
“You seemed troubled,” she said quietly.
I closed my eyes, pondering her words. Physically, I was exhausted, but mentally, I didn’t feel particularly distressed. Yet, I couldn’t deny that things weren’t quite normal.
‘How did she notice?’
“Why do you think that?” I asked.
“Did you see the baby unicorn?” she replied.
I shook my head, having not left the room since returning. Her hands moved to my shoulders, massaging gently, the water making her touch both soothing and slightly sticky.
“Was it crying?” I asked.
“No, but it seemed really down. Just lying there, not responding. You know how sensitive unicorns are to emotions, especially their owner’s.”
So she had gauged my state from the unicorn’s behavior.
I felt a bit uneasy but decided to hear her out. “What are you trying to say?”
“After the war, I started thinking… What if I hadn’t held onto you out of selfishness? Maybe then…”
“Nonsense,” I interrupted, dismissing her words. Her hands paused, sensing my seriousness.
“Don’t blame yourself. If anything, it’s my fault for deciding to join the war in the first place.”
“Do you really believe that? You’re not blaming yourself?”
“Shin Sang-yong’s death was tragic, but it was inevitable. It was war.”
I drew a firm line, raising my voice slightly to emphasize that I didn’t want to hear any more of it.
Hanna seemed to understand, resuming her gentle touch after a moment of stillness.
Time passed in silence, the only sound the soft lapping of water.
“You have so many scars… It’s heartbreaking.”
”…”
Her fingers worked to clean the dried blood, and I focused on the steam rising before me, trying to distract myself.
Her touch was gentle, reflecting her kind nature.
‘This is a kind of torture too.’
Then she spoke again.
“I’m relieved…”
“Hmm?”
“You really are different from my brother. I feel at ease now.”
I wanted to turn and ask what she meant, but her face was nestled between my shoulder blades, her breath warm against my skin.
“Your brother… You mean the former owner of the Love House?”
“You remember?”
“I heard about him before. He was quite successful, wasn’t he?”
The Love House’s previous owner had been a prominent caravan leader, but after a disastrous expedition, the group disbanded. Hanna had left, unable to cope with the aftermath.
I recalled the story she had shared when she first arrived, thinking there was more to it and planning to ask when the time was right.
“He was successful, but one mistake cost him everything,” Hanna said.
”…”
“He lost close friends and his lover. He was consumed by guilt.”
“Guilt can do that to a person.”
“Yeah. He tried to hide it, but it was obvious. His lover was a night flower, and he suddenly built a place for them with his savings. He always told me to be kind to them…”
Her voice trailed off, tinged with self-mockery.
“All that concern was pointless…”
I wondered if she had feelings for the man she called brother, but I kept the thought to myself as her voice grew more emotional.
“Did he join the rescue team out of guilt too?”
“Partly. He had a friend from the old days.”
“Why didn’t you try to stop him or talk to him?”
“I did, but he always said not to worry, to just wait. So I waited. Looking back, he always said that. Just wait, trust me, don’t worry… But I had nothing to say.”
A thought struck me.
‘No! You want me to just sit and wait again?’
“Is that why you said you wouldn’t just wait this time?”
”…Yeah. I always did as I was told, just waited. When I found out he was dead… I regretted it so much. Even if I said otherwise… In a way, I was the reason for his guilt.”
‘The reason?’
I sighed, feeling a twinge of empathy. I had been through something similar.
‘Hyung.’
The difference was that I had been consumed by revenge, while Hanna had been paralyzed by fear.
“He must have cared about you a lot.”
I spoke softly, and Hanna’s shoulders trembled slightly, a quiet laugh escaping her.
Silence settled over us again, this time longer.
”…”
”…”
I wondered if I had said something wrong, sensing her lift her head from my back.
“Suhyeon… I have a confession. Something I haven’t told you.”
“What is it?”
“When the caravan fell apart… It was my fault. I drew too much attention, and we were attacked by monsters.”
”…You think that’s your fault?”
Hanna nodded slightly.
“I couldn’t face anyone, especially him. I felt like a criminal. That’s why I refused the merger and left. I didn’t want to cause more trouble.”
…So that’s what happened.
I thought for a moment before speaking softly.
“I don’t think it was your fault.”
“Why? How can you say that?”
“It’s just a guess. But think about it. Isn’t it similar to now? Like, if I hadn’t done this or that, it wouldn’t have happened. If it was entirely your fault, why would he feel guilty? He had a perfect excuse in you.”
Hanna flinched, my words hitting home.
There was a long silence from Im Hanna, as if she had nothing more to say. So, I decided to break the ice.
“I’ve been wondering about something.”
“Hmm? What is it?”
“You once told me you wanted to carve out your own destiny. What did you mean by that?”
“Ah…”
Im Hanna let out a soft sigh at my question.
Splash, splash.
After a moment, I sensed her slowly lifting her head. She turned to face me directly, her eyes peeking through her damp hair, trembling slightly.
“When I first saw you, I was really surprised. Your actions, the way people looked at you—it was just like my brother. I stared at you a lot back then… Didn’t you notice?”
“I didn’t. But now that you mention it, I don’t really see the resemblance…”
“It’s similar. You try to do everything on your own.”
I had no response to that, so I just let out a small sigh.
Im Hanna chuckled softly and took a deep breath before speaking in a low, drawn-out voice.
“So when Yeonju suggested I join the clan, I was really torn. I wanted to go, but should I? Could I really do well? Would the same things happen again? I agonized over it night after night.”
“You really are…”
“I had so many doubts, but I couldn’t help being drawn to you. So I decided to give it a try and joined.”
So that was the real reason, and the issue with the night flowers was secondary. Personally, I suspect that Im Hanna herself was confused at the time and used the night flowers as a kind of escape.
“But do you know what’s really funny? Not long after I joined, you left for Mule. Then, contact was lost after the vagrants attacked. What do you think I thought then?”
“Surely you didn’t think that was your fault too.”
”…The circumstances around me were like that. My comrades died, my brother died, and I thought you had died too. At that point, it just felt like fate. Ah, I must be a witch. Since then, my fate has been cursed.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
I shook my head in disbelief.
But now, I felt like I understood a little better. What Im Hanna had been thinking all this time, and what she wanted to say to me. She had always been so gentle and calm that I hadn’t realized how complicated her feelings were.
“So you were worried about me? That this incident would make me feel guilty and shaken, just like your brother?”
Im Hanna didn’t answer. Instead, she nodded a couple of times, her eyes glistening with moisture.
Seeing her like that, I couldn’t help but find her endearing.
I chuckled again, lightly.
“Why are you laughing…?”
“I just think you worried about something unnecessary.”
”…Hmph.”
“Well, I don’t know what that brother of yours was like, but…”
I paused for a moment before slowly getting up.
The conversation had gone on longer than expected. I figured it was time to wash up and head out.
Meeting Im Hanna’s gaze as she looked up at me, I extended my hands.
“You heard my answer earlier, right?”
For a moment, her eyes wavered intensely. Then, her tightly pressed lips softened into a gentle smile. She laughed.
“Yeah, I heard it.”
Im Hanna took my hands and stood up. I averted my gaze as her wet clothes clung to her skin, revealing more than intended.
Sensing my reaction, she smiled softly and spoke, still holding my hands.
“Hehe. Why?”
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Wait a moment.”
”?”
As I turned at her call, I felt her slowly approaching.
The stars were still twinkling in the night sky. Despite spending quite some time in the bathhouse, it seemed it was still early morning.
Thanks to Im Hanna’s help, I managed to wash away the bloodstains on my body.
Feeling refreshed, unlike when I had arrived, I made my way back to the main building.
Step by step. Step by step.
As I entered the building and climbed the dark stairs, I thought about Im Hanna.
‘Everyone has a story.’
Even if that story seems trivial, it wasn’t a bad feeling.
Especially today, when I felt unusually lonely, Im Hanna’s concern was a comforting attention that eased my solitude. Remembering the warmth of her embrace, I lightly touched my lips.
At the same time, I worried about how to explain things to Go Yeonju and Jung Hayeon…
Reaching the fourth-floor dormitory, I opened the door and immediately sensed something was off.
Two things were strange.
One, the bloodstained bed sheets had been replaced with clean ones. The other, the center of the new sheets was bulging.
Curious, I approached and lifted the neatly arranged sheets.
“Kyuu.”
Suddenly, a baby unicorn, curled up and burying its head, appeared, shivering slightly from the cold air.
I blinked in surprise, then quickly understood the situation. Carefully, I climbed onto the bed, making sure not to wake the baby unicorn, and gently lay down. I pulled the shivering creature into my arms.
“Kyuu?”
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
The baby unicorn lifted its head in response, but after a few soothing strokes, it nodded off again, snuggling closer to me. As I felt it burrow into my embrace, sleepiness finally washed over me.
Cradling the softly breathing baby unicorn, I slowly closed my eyes.
The room was still chilly, but the warmth from my abdomen, the clean sheets, and the lingering sensation on my lips made me think.
I’m not so lonely anymore.
---------------------------= Author’s Note ---------------------------=
I’m so sorry but I love you, it’s all a lie.
ㅇ<-<