Suddenly, my mind went completely blank. The entire world seemed to be painted white, and I had the strange sensation that it was just me and the Hell Duke in this space. Nothing else crossed my mind—no thoughts, no feelings. The only thing I could vividly sense, moment by moment, was the touch of flesh beneath my right hand, so sharp and clear it almost took my breath away.
Honestly, it was kind of ridiculous to be reacting this way just from holding a breast once.
But then again, who was the other party? None other than the Hell Duke himself.
Who would have imagined? A being I had only ever known as ‘terror’ would willingly offer his breast like this.
…No, more than that, the sensation I was feeling was so exquisitely sweet that ‘offering’ hardly captured it.
“Hm? Why the sudden reaction?”
Had he noticed my response? The Hell Duke’s voice drifted softly into my ears.
“You. Speak up. Didn’t I ask how the feeling of the Fear Flame is?”
Huh?
‘The feeling of the Fear Flame?’
As I repeated his words in my mind, a memory suddenly flashed through my head.
‘The ancient, primal fire of purification. The eternal flame of cleansing.’
Then, when the Hell Duke placed his hand on my chest, I automatically recalled what he had said at that moment.
‘…….’
A sudden realization hit me. That meant the Hell Duke, just like me, was harboring the power of the Fear Flame in the same place.
‘He wasn’t asking me to feel the breast itself, but the energy of the Fear Flame.’
Only then did a sliver of reason return, allowing me to regain some composure. With my vision clearing, I saw the Hell Duke looking at me with a curious gaze, as if wondering why I was acting so strangely.
Feeling embarrassed for no good reason, I quickly closed my eyes and focused on sensing the energy of the Fear Flame.
And after a moment…
“…Ah?”
The instant I felt the scorching energy through my palm, I couldn’t help but let out a breathless exclamation.
The Fire Essence isn’t something you can pin down with a single definition. The same goes for the Fear Flame.
It’s a wild, untamed energy that surges and swirls unpredictably.
An energy that evokes the briefest, most fleeting instant.
Like a volcano on the verge of eruption, ready to explode at any moment.
Like molten lava bubbling thickly and relentlessly.
‘So this… is truly the energy of the Fear Flame…’
Of course, this wasn’t my first encounter with the Fear Flame. I’d experienced it countless times in battle against the Hell Duke.
But the Fear Flame I felt in combat and the one I felt now were somewhat different. Similar, yet subtly distinct. Until now, I’d only known it as ‘destructive,’ so this experience felt surprisingly fresh.
“Heh heh. Then compare it. How does the energy you feel now differ from the power you possess?”
The Hell Duke’s voice continued.
“Fear Flame and Fire Essence are so fundamentally opposed that you could say they’re completely incompatible from start to finish.”
He was right. The two energies were so contrasting that it was hard to believe they were even the same kind of flame.
“Sure, I have the ability to absorb that power, but that’s about it. Unless it’s done through purely natural means, forcibly mixing the two energies with some kind of coercion… even I can’t predict what would happen next. You understand why, don’t you?”
Yeah. After feeling it myself, I understood the Hell Duke’s explanation. In other words, these two energies aren’t just impossible to unify—they can’t even coexist.
“Well, that should answer your question.”
“…….”
“…But why do you keep squeezing my hand? It feels strange. Let go now.”
“…….”
“Didn’t I say, let go?”
“…Huh? Ah, ah.”
When I heard the third prompt, I finally reacted. I must have been holding on without realizing it because it felt so good. I even felt like I was floating on air, overwhelmed by happiness.
As I finally came to my senses, I saw the Hell Duke watching me with a strange look. I cleared my throat and looked away, feeling embarrassed and awkward. It wasn’t just now—I’d felt this odd stirring inside me every time our eyes met.
Anyway, just as I was about to reluctantly pull my hand away…
‘Huh?’
…Was it just my imagination? For a moment, it seemed like the Hell Duke’s lips curled into a slight smile.
Then—
Flurry!
Suddenly, a sharp voice echoed inside my head. The tone was familiar. I blanked out for a moment, then remembered who it was and gasped loudly.
“F-Fire Essence?”
I blurted out without thinking. The Hell Duke gave me a puzzled look, and I heard a voice inside my mind.
‘You were awake?’
‘Th-then why…?’
Fire Essence snapped sharply, making my head ring. The tone was clearly angry. Why was it suddenly furious after being silent all this time?
‘Hey, why are you mad?’
‘…Influence?’
‘Me? Dragged around?’
Fire Essence couldn’t hold back and unleashed a barrage of insults. I wanted to say something back, but nothing came to mind—I was left speechless.
“Why are you suddenly so confused? And when will you let go of my hand?”
Just then, while Fire Essence kept berating me, I heard that sweet yet seductive voice again. Looking up, I saw the Hell Duke holding my right hand firmly, smiling shyly.
If this had happened earlier, I would have thought the Hell Duke’s behavior was unfair. But after hearing Fire Essence’s words, something felt off. It was like he was doing it on purpose. Besides, if he held on like that, there was no way he’d let go.
Just then, Fire Essence, who had been firing off insults like a machine gun, suddenly stopped mid-rant. Taking a deep breath, it continued.
‘That’s a bit…’
‘…Fine. I get it.’
That was true. I understood the Hell Duke’s words, but I didn’t have deep knowledge about the Fear Flame or Fire Essence. I had no idea where this conversation was headed, but at least I trusted Fire Essence more than myself. After all, I’d never lost out by listening to it before.
Hearing that, I glanced at the Hell Duke. He was grinning like he found something amusing. He didn’t look upset, so I cautiously spoke.
“Cut the nonsense.”
The Hell Duke narrowed his eyes slightly but still smiled.
Fire Essence added:
W-Wow, these instructions are pretty detailed.
Anyway, Fire Essence’s plan was going completely against what I had prepared. Part of me doubted if this was really a good idea, but whether it worked or not, I figured I’d better just follow along.
“Don’t play coy.”
“Hm? What are you saying all of a sudden?”
“Don’t play coy. Since it’s come to this, I might just go all out.”
“…Heh! I’m curious how you’ll go all out. Why don’t you try?”
I tried to sound as serious as possible, but the Hell Duke just smirked and muttered indifferently.
Fire Essence finished its instructions: speak grandly, bite your lower lip slowly at the end, and put strength in your eyes. Also, add some appropriate ad-libs.
‘…Why not just tell me to stand on my head while I’m at it?’
Putting aside what it said, I was at a loss for words. Fire Essence seemed to know the situation well, but I was completely in the dark, and it was frustrating.
I sighed deeply. But what could I do? Ignorance was my curse.
Resigned, I finally spoke.
“Don’t underestimate me. I’ve been through hell and back—land, sea, air, and urban warfare. So stop trying to control me with words or suggestions, and just tell me what you want.”
“…What?”
At that moment, the Hell Duke, who had been calm all along, suddenly furrowed his brow. It was a subtle change, but the first expression I’d seen from him.
Fire Essence, as if seizing the moment, kept chattering, urging me on.
Yeah. We’d come this far. Now, whatever happens, happens.
I repeated back to Hwajeong exactly what I’d heard from her, though I didn’t understand a word of it.
“Whether you simply want to reach a higher plane, or to reconstruct the endless hell, or to revive the First Legion… honestly, I don’t really know what you want. But whatever your goal is… um…”
— Don’t even think about making me king.
Her words had been so long-winded that I almost forgot, but Hwajeong reminded me of the key sentence, and I snapped back to it.
“If you’re planning to make me king as part of your plan, you’re seriously mistaken.”
— Good. That sounded natural.
Then—
“You, you bastard! How on earth…?”
The Hell Duke sprang up from his tower, his face full of shock. His eyes were wide as if he hadn’t expected this at all.
“Did Behemoth tell you? Or that child?”
“……”
“No, no way. Then, if that’s the case…”
“…Hey.”
At that moment, Hwajeong’s voice echoed once more in my mind. I didn’t respond immediately but mulled over her explanation carefully.
A higher plane.
Reconstruction of endless hell.
Revival of the First Legion.
The king’s demise and ascension.
Honestly, none of it made sense to me right now. But something was different. Ever since I started repeating Hwajeong’s words verbatim, the conversation stopped going in circles and began to make some progress. Above all, the Hell Duke’s reaction was clear proof of that.
Thinking this, I felt a rare clarity and stared at the Hell Duke. My hand was still gripping his right pectoral.
Just as I was about to slowly pull my hand away—
Crack.
Suddenly, the Hell Duke gripped my hand even tighter. His eyes blazed as he stared at me, silently demanding a detailed explanation.
I spoke quietly.
“There’s one more thing I need to tell you. Just answer this one question properly.”
“…Tell me?”
“It’s Hwajeong’s question. Have you ever tried to become the king of hell yourself?”
“T-that was something I gave up over two thousand years ago. I’m not fit to be king… Ah!”
Though flustered, the Hell Duke answered. Then suddenly he gasped, eyes wide open. It seemed he realized where those questions had come from when I mentioned Hwajeong.
“What exactly did she say?”
He asked urgently.
“She said she can’t be sure either. But if you failed to become king, then I probably failed too.”
“Why?”
“Because you and I share equal power. If you failed, then it’s very likely I failed as well.”
“Ha… but… even if I failed because of destruction, Hwajeong’s power is clearly focused on purification… so then…”
A blank, troubled look darkened the Hell Duke’s face. He seemed so shocked he couldn’t even speak properly. Meanwhile, I twisted my hand this way and that until I finally managed to pull it free.
After lightly brushing off my hand, I relayed Hwajeong’s final words in a low voice.
“Purification alone can’t define revival or reconstruction… that’s what she said.”
---------------------------= Author’s Note =---------------------------
Hello, this is Royujin.
To my readers: I said I’d post yesterday afternoon, but I couldn’t. First, I want to sincerely apologize and ask for your forgiveness.
I debated whether to share what happened next, but I figured it’s better to be honest with those waiting just for my comment. Even if it sounds like an excuse, I think it’s the polite thing to do.
The situation itself is simple.
After sleeping last night, I went to the hospital this morning. The nosebleed had stopped, and aside from occasional drainage down my throat, there was nothing serious. They said the mucous membranes in my nose had weakened from fatigue.
So I came back and tried to write… but nothing came out.
At first, I didn’t think much of it. Writer’s block isn’t new to me, and I’ve always found ways through it. But the problem started when I tried to analyze the cause.
Was I stuck on the story?
Was my physical strength down?
Neither applied.
When I get stuck, I usually review my notes and plans. I had made some minor changes to the outline, but nothing major. I just needed to write according to the plan. And I didn’t feel physically drained—I’ve been exercising early mornings for a week and waking up refreshed.
That’s when I started to lose it.
I tried hot showers, short walks, switching from desktop to ultrabook, changing my writing environment to my brother’s room, even lying down to write. Nothing worked. I even banged my head against the wall in frustration, but it was the same.
The longer it went on, the more anxious and suffocated I felt. I even thought, “Would swallowing a bomb and blowing up make me feel better?”
I considered just posting what I had written, but I didn’t want to. Even if it’s a side story, I’d laid groundwork for the hell arc—I didn’t want this part to be forgotten as meaningless.
In the end, I scrapped 500 words (about 2,000 characters) and started over. But I still wasn’t satisfied, and I lost focus around the same parts.
Meanwhile, I had a meeting scheduled with Joara today, but I couldn’t even contact them and ended up missing it.
By afternoon, I was still struggling when I got a call from Joara. They were worried because the update hadn’t gone up and the meeting was missed. I explained my situation, grasping at straws.
Thankfully, I received some helpful advice.
“You can scrap the content once, but don’t do it more than that. Beyond that, you risk going on hiatus.”
“Leave the parts you can’t write for now. Write the parts you want to write, the later parts first. Then think about how to connect the two.”
That advice was priceless to me. I cut off contact and got back to writing, and thankfully, I managed to finish the first chapter.
Honestly, I’m still not fully satisfied with the content. It’s better than the first draft, but as someone said, it still feels more like a list of settings than a novel. That’s something I need to work on.
That’s what happened yesterday. I wrote this honestly, but now that I’ve read it back, I feel a bit—no, a lot—embarrassed. I’m always grateful and sorry to my readers who support such a flawed writer.
If I can find my pace again someday, I’ll repay the promise I broke yesterday with an unexpected update.
I hope all my readers have a happy and peaceful night.
Sincerely,
Royujin