00947 If You Change, One.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I suddenly came to my senses, the mechanical movements of my waist had already stopped. To be more precise, Han So-young was standing less than a meter away, looking at me with deeply saddened eyes.

How must I have looked, engrossed in pounding while clutching Lilith’s hips? Probably so disgusting it would make anyone want to vomit. I couldn’t bear to see the broken So-young during the first cycle, so of course she must have felt the same way.

Yeah. I’m sure that’s how it was.

…Or so I thought.

But watching Han So-young now, there was something different.

Her gaze, indescribable and steady, was nothing like the face that used to only scream at me in the past.

I heard her say thank you, and I heard her say she was sorry. After that, she kept moving her lips, but at least her intention to comfort me came through clearly. Thanks to that, I was barely able to calm the turmoil inside me.

And when I laid my head on her thigh, my body—pushed to its limits—suddenly relaxed as if wrapped in a soft blanket.

Feeling lighter, I began to recount the story of the first cycle. It must have been the slowly settling calm in my mind and body that made me speak up. With Han So-young listening so attentively, I felt like she could understand anything.

Starting from when I first entered the Hall Plain fifteen years ago,

Meeting my brother, losing him,

Meeting Han So-young, losing her,

And finally defeating the demon and obtaining the Zero Code.

“…So the man made a decision. He couldn’t return to Earth alone.”

“Even if it meant repeating ten years over and over, he vowed to change that bleak past.”

“This time, he would never let his brother or the Clan Lord die.”

“And so… the man requested the Zero Code to turn back time. In other words, he started all over again.”

As I finished the long, drawn-out story, I suddenly felt as if time itself had stopped. At the same moment, my calm heart began to race unexpectedly.

I wondered how Han So-young would react. What expression would she wear? What would she say?

No. Would she even believe me?

“That man was the Mercenary Lord, wasn’t he?”

Just as my thoughts tangled in confusion, my gaze, which had been fixed on one spot throughout my story, involuntarily shifted toward her calm voice.

Surprisingly, Han So-young was very composed. With her usual expressionless face, she looked at me quietly.

“You’re only telling me now.”

“Hm?”

“It would have been better if you’d told me sooner.”

“Do you… believe me?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, Han So-young nodded.

“Yes.”

I was taken aback. No matter how sensitive she was, I never expected her to accept it so easily. Even my brother was confused at first and only accepted the truth after using the Truth Revision.

“I think I would have believed you even if you’d told me when we first met.”

But Han So-young gave a faint smile, as if unsure whether she was being sincere or not. She gently tilted her chin up and looked at the ceiling.

“Of course, it would have taken some time… but I felt it from the very beginning. I still remember it vividly—the strange, special feelings I could only sense from the Mercenary Lord, unlike any other user…”

After saying that, she lowered her head again and looked at me with deep eyes.

“Yes. I think I understand now. I think I finally get it.”

“Ah…”

“I was that kind of person to the Mercenary Lord.”

“H… ha ha…”

Suddenly, words failed me, and I just laughed. But even to my own ears, it was an awkward laugh.

I didn’t know why, but a strange feeling wouldn’t go away. I thought for sure she’d question me at least once.

“How do you feel?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t know if I’m your first or second, but now that you’ve told me, I’m curious how you feel.”

“……”

Now she was asking how I felt.

Well, feelings, huh? I wasn’t sure.

“I don’t know.”

I said it without thinking.

“Are you happy?”

I shook my head at the next question. Given the situation, and to be honest, I didn’t feel particularly happy. I was just dumbfounded by how far her reaction exceeded my expectations. Part of me felt bittersweet, though.

“Then are you sad?”

I shook my head again. It felt too peaceful to be sadness. Maybe the best way to describe it was that I’d simply let go.

“Do you want to laugh?”

No.

“Then do you want to cry?”

At that, the head I’d been shaking suddenly froze.

I quietly mulled over the question.

Want to cry…

“……”

The longer the silence stretched, the more intense her gaze became. I turned my head halfway, deliberately avoiding her eyes.

I didn’t understand why Han So-young was asking this all of a sudden. But one thing was clear—I couldn’t say no with certainty.

“I don’t know.”

…Though I said that, the truth was I did want to cry. Not because of this situation, but it was something I’d thought about from time to time before. I wanted, just once, to truly shed tears.

‘Is that so…?’

‘Are you already beautifully breaking apart…?’

The conversation I’d had with the Zero Code here resonated painfully.

In fact, long before this cycle began, I’d sensed it quietly. Some emotions were slowly dulling, like clothes soaked in a gentle rain.

Unable to truly rejoice, unable to truly grieve.

Unable to laugh purely, unable to cry purely.

Unless something truly shocking happened, even expressing emotions felt awkward.

In the end, it was a kind of yearning to reclaim those feelings. Hadn’t I once been rich in emotion?

Come to think of it, when was the last time I cried? I hadn’t cried even once since Han So-young died, had I? That meant nearly ten years without tears. Maybe my tear ducts had dried up during that time.

Han So-young spoke again.

“Do you want to cry?”

“…How should I cry?”

“Hm?”

“No, it’s nothing. So, how do you feel, Istantel Low Lord?”

I knew it was cowardly, but I changed the subject. I didn’t know what Han So-young’s intention was, but I didn’t want to talk anymore.

“Hmm… me?”

I heard her click her tongue in disappointment, but it seemed she wasn’t going to press further.

“I just want to hold you tight.”

“Hm?”

The question slipped out before I could stop it. Startled, I looked away, but Han So-young’s face caught my eye again. It looked stranger than ever.

No. It was different from usual.

Just as I thought that, her dusky lips moved once more.

“I want to kiss you.”

Without realizing it, I sat up, scratching my head reflexively.

“Ha ha. I feel like a puppy caught in the rain. But you don’t have to feel sorry for me like that…”

“Mercenary Lord.”

But her slightly angry voice cut me off as if what I was saying wasn’t worth hearing. My chest tightened. When I glanced up, I saw Han So-young looking at me with eyes full of disappointment and pity.

“You know that’s not it…”

If those words sounded like a plea to stop turning away, was it just my imagination?

No way.

“I’ve waited so long. You know that, don’t you?”

It wasn’t my imagination. The very fact I thought of the word ‘turning away’ was as good as admitting it.

“You said before it wasn’t love. It was admiration.”

In other words,

“At the time, I didn’t understand the Mercenary Lord’s words at all. Even though I felt it was sincere, I dismissed it as an excuse to avoid the situation… But now, I understand. No, I will understand.”

Han So-young couldn’t be like that. She shouldn’t be.

“Maybe the me from the first cycle was just an object of admiration. Yeah, that could be.”

The only sanctuary in my heart where I’d always thought that.

“But thinking that the past me is overshadowing the present me… it hurts so much I can barely stand it.”

She broke through that sanctuary head-on.

“So.”

Not someone else,

“Please, stop living in the past.”

Han So-young herself.

A woman’s plea to see her as she is now.

That one sentence stopped my breath.

Still hesitating, something that had been held back for so long finally exploded, and Han So-young pressed me with words faster than ever before.

“It’s not strange. It’s not weird. He’s the man who silently watched over me for fifteen long years without a word. And now that the woman finally knows the truth, is it so strange for her to fall for him? Huh?”

No, it’s not strange. Not at all.

“Or is it still because it’s me that it can’t be?”

No. It’s not because it’s you. No, you’re right. I knew all along but kept avoiding it. Even though I thought it was impossible, maybe I secretly enjoyed it. Yes, I was a coward.

I should say something, anything. So why do my lips only move without forming words?

“You don’t hate me. You wouldn’t have done all this if you did.”

Then why am I slowly backing away? What am I afraid of?

“Don’t go… please…”

My throat felt like it was choking. I wanted to shove my fist down my throat.

Then—

“Ugh…!”

Han So-young suddenly let out a strangled groan, gritted her teeth, and stood up.

Clink, clink, clink, clink!

Clink, clink, clink, clink!

Then, biting his lip, he began shaking his arms irritably. With eyes full of resentment, he glared at the chains binding his wrists, wildly thrashing as if desperate to break free.

“I-Istantel Low Road!”

Just as I hurriedly stepped closer, worried his wrists might snap first—

“Stop…?”

Suddenly, Han So-young whipped her head around with a force that seemed like it could break her neck. Her two dark, obsidian-like eyes, narrowed sharply, burned with an intense longing. Even without words, the sheer power of her presence was impossible to resist. My mind went completely blank.

“Is it… not?”

“Am I the only one… imagining this?”

In that fleeting moment—

My left foot took a step forward on its own. Then my right followed.

I tried to pull back, stammering, but my legs wouldn’t obey.

It was a completely different feeling from when I was with Lilith. The exact opposite. My reason stood still, but my instincts craved the woman before me. It was as if some unconscious part of me, suffocated and desperate, had broken free and was dragging me forward against my will.

Since we were less than a meter apart to begin with, the distance closed in an instant.

With every step closer, my pounding heart, the deep rise and fall of my throat, my trembling eyelids, and my still-bitten lips all came into sharp focus.

And finally, when I was right in front of her, her sorrowful, wide-open eyes slowly narrowed, then gently closed.

Han So-young tilted her chin up slightly.

I stopped moving.

No fool would be unaware of what the other wanted.

“Ugh…”

But was this really okay? Was I just letting the mood sweep me away, about to do something I couldn’t take responsibility for?

If so, I had to stop here.

Because Han So-young, Han So-young…

It was at that moment.

Suddenly, her red lips filled my vision. I could clearly see the bite marks on her lower lip.

In that split second—

I closed my eyes without realizing it,

My face shifted slightly away,

The scent of a mature adult filled my nostrils,

And the burning-hot touch of her lips pressed against mine—

“…!”

It all happened almost simultaneously.

---------------------------= Author’s Note ---------------------------=

I’ve wrapped up the flag with Han So-young and will now move on to the final stage of Episode 1.

Thank you all for reading. (__)

Addendum (9:28 AM)

It seems some readers might have misunderstood the note. The intimate scene with Han So-young is planned for after the final stage (the war), serving as a turning point to lighten the previously dark atmosphere and close out Episode 1. Here, I only intended to cover the flag collection—that is, the moment they confirm their feelings for each other. As you can see, that part is nearly complete. The final stage will begin no later than the episode after next. ^^;