Our eyes met. As the darkness gradually lifted, the woman who appeared was completely familiar. Huh—no way, it’s Han So-young showing up here.
For a moment, unsure of what to do, I just nodded awkwardly. Han So-young lowered her head slightly and, with a slower pace, approached the bed.
“Sorry. I tried to knock as quietly as I could…”
“No, it’s fine. I just woke up myself.”
Her pair of jet-black eyes shimmered with a faint light, darker than the night itself. Was she silently gauging the truth with some kind of sixth sense?
“Is that so? I woke up two hours ago.”
“You got up early. Did you sleep here?”
“Yes. The place is really nice—the bed, the bath facilities.”
“I’m glad you liked it.”
Our conversation was simple and straightforward, but every word felt heavy with sincerity. Both of us were serious.
Just then, as Han So-young carefully tried to sit on the bed, she hesitated.
“…Can we talk for a bit? Maybe longer than a bit?”
Her blunt honesty made me smile.
“Let’s go out to the terrace. The breeze will feel nice.”
A little while later, we stepped out onto the terrace and were met with an endlessly dim night view. The garden was shrouded in darkness, perhaps because of the heavy clouds overhead.
Clink… The sound of liquid hitting glass broke the silence. I hadn’t noticed before, but Han So-young was holding a bottle of wine in one hand. She poured some onto the table and handed me a glass. As I brought it closer, the deep purple liquid swayed gently right before my eyes. It was strong, yet fragrant.
Then, holding her own glass, Han So-young tilted her head.
“I know it’s a bit odd to say this after pouring, but… are you okay with this?”
“Perfect timing. I do have something to celebrate, after all.”
Clink. The sharp sound of glasses touching followed. As I took a slow sip to savor it, I was surprised to see Han So-young already finishing her glass. “Phew.” She exhaled, and apparently one shot wasn’t enough—she refilled her glass to the brim and downed the second one without leaving a drop.
Since stepping onto the terrace, Han So-young had been staring out at the nightscape. Except for the occasional movement of her lips, her gaze remained fixed ahead. The cold wind was chilling her quickly; she clutched her damp robe tightly, as if to dry it.
Han So-young wasn’t one to beat around the bush. From the start, she was likely to throw a straight pitch. I’d better steel myself.
While I was thinking that, an awkward silence stretched between us.
After several deep breaths and hesitant moments, her lips finally parted.
“I missed you.”
I instinctively inhaled sharply.
“I came because I missed you.”
Her voice was clear, with no trace of drunkenness.
“…But even with the help of alcohol, I still don’t know what to say.”
“Huh?”
“So I’ll just say it as it is.
Like I said, I woke up two hours ago. The first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes was Missionary Road. Strange, isn’t it?
I lay in bed for a long time, but that thought never left me.
I even tried soaking in hot water to clear my head, but it only made me want to see you more.”
“……”
Once she started, her words flowed like a dance.
“But then, when I finally decided, ‘Okay, I’ll go,’ all sorts of worries held me back.
What if you’re asleep? What if you wake up? What if you think I’m some weird woman? What if I say the wrong thing? I didn’t even know how to say what I wanted to say…
…And before I knew it, I was standing at your door, knocking with a bottle of wine in hand.”
Suddenly, I found myself admiring her bold yet composed tone. I would have stumbled over those words many times, or been too embarrassed to say them at all. But she spoke softly and clearly, as if playing a beautiful melody that captivated my senses.
“So that’s why I came.”
Han So-young poured her glass full again, as if rewarding herself for making it this far.
“Because I missed you.”
And once again, she emptied it in one go.
I spoke quietly.
“It’s an honor.”
Clink. The glass hit the table, wobbling a couple of times. I immediately regretted my words.
“…Back then.”
But—
“Those words from Missionary Road just felt suffocating.”
Her voice remained gentle.
“When I tried to be brave and approach, you avoided me. When I forced myself closer, you still avoided me… I didn’t know what to do, being treated the same way I’d treated others. So I just kept suffering in silence.”
She poured more wine.
“But…”
This time, the way she filled the glass was different from before. The once rushing purple stream thinned out little by little.
“Now, I think I understand. No, I know why Missionary Road acted that way.”
The stream grew thinner, until it finally dripped drop by drop.
“Honestly, I was young. Just because someone holds a special place in my heart doesn’t mean they feel the same way about me.”
The last drop barely filled the glass.
“Ha, it’s laughable from my perspective. Who would have thought that the biggest barrier would be none other than my past self.”
Her voice softened almost to a whisper.
“I’m Estantel Low Road.”
“I know. I’ve heard there are many women around Missionary Road.”
“You know that, and yet…”
“Yes. You probably admire the past me more than the me standing here now. I know. I came here knowing all that.”
Han So-young cut me off decisively, as if none of that mattered.
“…Someone like Han So-young, a user, could definitely find a better man.”
I blurted out a cliché, stuck for words. Even though I knew it was the worst thing to say.
“Of course, that might be true.”
Unexpectedly, Han So-young smiled softly.
“But yes, even if I meet a good man someday, just like Missionary Road said…”
She held her glass carefully, as if afraid the tiny ripples would spill over.
“…No one will ever be as special as you.”
That was practically the last glass.
Whoosh!
Suddenly, a strong wind blew. At the same moment, Han So-young turned fully toward me. Her sleek hair caught the breeze, billowing out like a sail before scattering like waves. Her calm, steady eyes gazed at me—deep and profound, like the ocean.
“Someone once said that a first love coming true is a miracle.”
As she slowly brushed her tangled hair back with one hand, she continued.
“I know it might not work out… but still, at least once in life, you can hope for a miracle in your heart, right?”
She lifted the wine calmly to her lips, her smile tinged with bittersweetness.
“Honestly… I still don’t know if I’m about to drink a blessing or swallow regret…”
Then, with her eyes half-open, Han So-young stared at me with a burning intensity I hadn’t seen before.
“So just once.”
“I won’t be any more spoiled or clingy. Just once, please say it sincerely.”
In that fleeting moment, the faint buzz of alcohol I’d sensed vanished instantly. From her eyes, I felt something beyond sincerity—an indescribable desperation.
“…Before I finish this last glass.”
With those words left hanging, Han So-young slowly, very slowly, tilted the glass. But as her trembling jaw lifted and her shaking hand tipped the glass, the liquid poured faster and faster. Before I knew it, the level inside was dropping rapidly.
Not a single drop was left.
“……”
Han So-young’s arm fell limply at her side.