Episode 1058
Chapter 251: Rivals (8)
Jin flinched and looked at Siris.
As always, her face was expressionless. In some ways, she seemed detached from everything, as if she had transcended all concerns; in others, she appeared indifferent to everyone around her.
But as a longtime companion and friend, Jin knew the real reason behind Siris’s usual blank expression.
Responsibility.
From the moment she became aware of who she was, Siris’s life had been nothing but relentless training to become the perfect next Mistress of the Secret Palace.
A harsh and monotonous existence.
Siris had been accustomed to such a life since she was very young. The idea that anything else could interfere with her duty to the Secret Palace had never crossed her mind.
That was, until she met Jin.
Clink…
Siris poured wine into both their glasses.
“Do you remember the day we first met? You tricked me at Mamit. Haha… Looking back now, it’s strange that I even applied that ointment for you.”
“In what way?”
“At first, I just gave you the ointment and told you to apply it yourself. But then I saw your filthy hands and decided to do it for you. Normally, I wouldn’t have even handed over the ointment, let alone apply it myself.”
“That’s true.”
“I guess, back then, it was just surprising to meet someone my age in such a rough place. I’d spent most of my life acting as my mother’s proxy, and whenever I left the Secret Palace, it was always for missions. I hardly ever had a chance to talk to someone my own age.”
Jin nodded, recalling Talaris. She remembered how Siris had boasted about being sent to important meetings in her place since she was about five, while their mother went to meet her lovers.
Of course, it was meant to highlight Siris’s intelligence, but it also revealed the immense pressure she had endured growing up as the heir to the Secret Palace. In other words, she had been receiving royal training every moment, constantly tested.
“So when I saved you, and then found out you were the youngest of the Runcandel family… I was furious. But after a while, I realized I wasn’t angry at you.”
“…You were angry at yourself, Siris? For being deceived?”
“Exactly. I was mad at myself. How foolish I was to show a little kindness, to underestimate the Secret Palace like that… And I even lost the duel. That’s what I thought.”
Siris took a long sip of wine and smiled. Jin followed suit, emptying his glass and refilling it.
“But after losing, I still applied ointment for you… Even while overwhelmed by defeat and disappointment, I felt strangely refreshed. You get what I mean, right? The truth is, I always wanted to escape the pressure. The pressure of being the Mistress of the Secret Palace.”
Despite all the time they’d spent together.
Jin had never heard this side of Siris before. Nor had he ever guessed. She had always been the perfect Mistress.
From the time she turned fifteen, whenever there was a problem, those under the Secret Palace’s protection sought Siris, not Talaris.
“I had no choice but to work hard, Jin. I’m coldly less talented than my mother. She was one of the top three strongest in this generation, alongside Sir Siron and Sir Ron, even while living leisurely… And I’ve never taken a day off training, yet I can’t even rank among the top five. That’s why my mother pushed me so harshly from a young age.”
Jin didn’t reply but lightly clinked his glass against hers.
“You were always a worthy rival to me. Our bond started fresh, and everything we’ve been through since has been dangerous but mysterious. How many times has the Secret Palace saved your life?”
“Countless times.”
From the Colon to now, the Secret Palace had always supported Jin generously. Even when he came to Milaro to meet the demon realm officials, he rode a Mote.
“I’ve received so much help, Siris. No matter what I do, I can never repay it all.”
“Good, you should know that if you have a conscience. Haha, now braid my hair for me.”
“My hair?”
“You’ve never done it before, right?”
“I don’t think so.”
Siris brought her long hair over her shoulder and demonstrated how to braid it.
“Put the strands between your fingers and gently tie them like this… Braid about three sections, from here to here.”
“I’ll do my best to make it pretty.”
“Okay, but if it’s not pretty, I’ll turn my chin away.”
Jin stood behind Siris, carefully sorting her hair. Each time he moved a strand, a sweet fragrance wafted through the air.
He focused so intently that he didn’t speak for a while, while Siris softly hummed under her breath.
One braid was finished.
When Jin held up a mirror to show her, their eyes met in the reflection. They both smiled.
“How is it? I tried my best.”
“Hmm, looks good. Keep going.”
Jin resumed braiding, and Siris hummed along.
For the first time in a long while—maybe ever—Jin thought she looked genuinely uplifted.
She was beautiful. Her silver-white hair shimmered like sunlight dancing on a flowing river.
“There was a time, you know.”
“Yes, Siris.”
“At one point, I thought the same as my mother.”
“What do you mean?”
“One day, I suddenly thought it might actually be okay to bring you in as the Mistress of the Secret Palace. I don’t remember exactly when—maybe during the compass retrieval? Anyway, I thought it would be best for the Secret Palace.”
For the Secret Palace.
Siris mulled over those words and took another sip.
“You probably don’t realize it, but that was a long-standing question for me. Because I couldn’t understand my own feelings. Was I thinking only about marrying you for the Secret Palace’s sake? Or was it because I loved you?”
Jin couldn’t answer.
But Siris didn’t mind his silence as he continued braiding. She hadn’t started this conversation hoping for an answer today.
“It had to be the former. Not because I loved you, but solely for the Secret Palace’s sake, I had to want to marry you.”
Yet, Jin’s hands trembled slightly as he braided, and strangely, that made her feel good. So, teasingly, she asked:
“Jin, why don’t you ask why your feelings don’t matter?”
“That’s because…”
“You could have just said no, right?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Haha, come on. You would have refused. You already had someone in your heart.”
Valeria Hister.
Siris knew that Jin had spent the night with Valeria inside the Red Owl.
The moment she heard that, she decided she had to talk to Jin. Just once, she thought, she should confess her feelings.
“Jin.”
“Yes?”
“From my perspective, unfortunately, it wasn’t because of the Secret Palace… I had simply started to hold you in my heart. I respected you as a rival, liked you as a friend, and loved you as a man.”
The second braid was done. Jin steadied his trembling hands and selected the last strands.
“You’re the one confessing, so why are you the one blushing? If you mess up my hair, I won’t let it slide.”
“Siris…”
“I wish I’d known these feelings sooner. And if I’d been more… how should I say it, expressive, like my mother, maybe I would have had a chance. But now, it’s too late. It’s time to close this chapter. For the Secret Palace, and for us.”
Us.
When Siris said that, she wasn’t just talking about herself and Jin. It included all their comrades.
“The battles ahead will be tougher than ever. I don’t want to make mistakes then. I’ve already made my choice.”
Jin was at a loss for words.
With hands finally steady, he finished braiding her hair. When he showed her the final result in the mirror, Siris smiled.
“Oh, you did a delicate job right to the end.”
Just as Jin nodded in response,
Siris turned and gently pulled him close, pressing her lips to his.
“With this, all the debts you owed the Secret Palace as a rival are settled. From now on, we won’t owe each other anything.”
To me, you are my closest friend and my most precious person.
“So if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Be as shameless as you are now, okay? But promise me two things.”
“…What?”
“First, I hope you don’t change how you treat me. I feel more comfortable with you now than ever before. Can you do that?”
Jin nodded slowly.
“Second… this might make me sound like a bad person, but whatever. It’s not going to happen anyway. If there’s ever a time when your feelings for Valeria aren’t eternal, come to me.”
Siris turned away again.
Jin’s eyes felt wet, and he didn’t want to see her face. He didn’t want to answer that second promise.
Not because he would refuse, but because he felt sorry for Valeria, who was also a precious comrade.
Two glasses remained, but only one glass of wine.
Siris poured the rest of the wine into her own glass. Just as she was about to drink it, an impulse made her shiver.
Fwoosh…
The wine, filled with a frost like blooming snowflakes, instantly froze solid.
“…Somehow, I don’t want to drink this now. I’ll come back and finish it when the time feels right. Let’s go, Jin. You go ahead and wait a bit. I’ll ask the steward to keep this safe, then I’ll come out.”
After Jin left, Siris quietly stared at the frozen glass for a long moment.
It was the feeling of a wounded heart.